Table for nine

Pure, Unadulterated Joy

2012-01-28T15:58:00.000-06:00

Healthy Choices

2012-01-25T10:25:00.000-06:00

Don't make that face. It was delicious. And I know that because I'm getting my taste buds back. Some days are better than others, but luckily for me, on the day we made this, they were working.

I love roasted beets and the husband and I are trying to incorporate more veggies into our diets, so we are experimenting with Kale. This is a roasted beet and kale salad with bacon. Because bacon makes everything better.

Eating more veggies is part of my don't die from the cancer and leave my children to the sperm donor and his ho plan. Even if you don't want to fully participate in this plan with me, you must at least one time try this recipe. You will become a kale lover for sure.

Roasted Beet and Kale Salad with Bacon

4-5 small beets, washed and trimmed
1 large bunch of kale, washed and roughly chopped
4 pieces of bacon, chopped
salt and pepper to taste

After washing and trimming the beets, I wrapped them in aluminum foil and baked them in the oven at 350 degrees for an hour. Once they were cooled, I peeled and chopped them. In a large skillet, cook the chopped bacon over medium heat until crisp. With a slotted spoon, remove the bacon, reserving the drippings. Add the chopped kale to the bacon fat and cook until wilted, approximately 15-20 minutes. Toss in the beets and bacon and season with salt and pepper.

That's it. I cooked my beets in the toaster oven one day while I was grocery shopping because it has a timer and would shut off after the time I set. That way I didn't have to worry about overcooking them. You can also do this in advance and just toss them into the skillet with the kale to warm them back up.

I never know what to do with kale besides make kale chips or throw it in my juicer to add to a smoothie. This is now a regular at my house. Yes, most of my kids will eat it. Yes, they are weird and they have always been good veggie eaters. But the key here is bacon. Every kid loves bacon.

Peace, Love and Bacon Grease!

Whirlwind weekend

2012-01-24T09:29:00.000-06:00

We flew to Florida for a whirlwind trip to attend a family wedding. Where else in the US can you have an outdoor wedding in January and it be absolutely perfect outside? It wasn't hot, it wasn't cold, the sun was out and it was totally stinking gorgeous outside. A girl could get used to that.

We had a great time and wished we could have stayed longer.

Mommy, can I have some of your drink in the fancy glass?

No honey, mommy's not even drinking her drink in the fancy glass. If she does, she won't be able to walk in these. She barely can anyway.

The tornado hit the dance floor and didn't stop.

Bear, DANCE with me!

Fine, if you won't dance with me, Grandpa will.

PLEEEEASE Dance with me.

A little bit softer now. A little bit softer now.

A little bit louder now

Fine, I'll dance by myself.

No honey, if you dance around a pole, do it like this.

When she wasn't dancing, she hit the photo booth. I'm pretty sure the bride and groom will have a great time looking through all the pictures of their guests making total fools of themselves.

Yes, the shoes eventually came off and mommy drank her mommy drink out of the fancy glass. It's the only way I can explain that photo booth session.

Some people need to back the hell off Ms. Paula

2012-01-18T08:44:00.000-06:00

Yes, Ms. Paula has type two diabetes. So what? So does my husband. He cooks for his family every single night. (yes, I'm a lucky girl) Does that mean he should be chastized for feeding his children the way he does? Have y'all seen my kids? They are so skinny it's ridiculous. We feed our family a mostly organic, whole foods diet with an occassional home made dessert thrown in.

And my husband still has type two diabetes.

And I still got cancer.

People in the media are portraying her the reason America is so stinking fat and obese. Really, because the last time I checked, Ms. Paula was using the same exact recipes that my grandmother used 40 years ago. You know, before America was supersized. She has and always has stressed moderation. Just because she waited three years to share her VERY personal information with the rest of America does not mean she's hiding something. It doesn't mean she was worried about her cooking empire.

It means that she wanted time to process this information. I know from experience. Hearing news like this was very hard on my husband. Hearing the words 'you have cancer' was VERY difficult to process. I still struggle with it today, a year later. So if she wanted to keep this little nugget of information to herself, good for her.

Yes, she has partnered with a drug company. And while I am generally anti-pharmaceutical, I understand her use of this drug. It is a newer drug and my husband uses it. Even when his weight is down where the dr. wants it, his blood sugar numbers are never perfect and rarely acceptable. Using Victoza helps reassure us that he isn't getting organ damage from his diabetes. You see, he has a four year old that we would both like to see get walked down the isle by her daddy.

Why is everyone so up in arms over a woman who cooks old fashioned, southern cooking? Encouraging people to cook at home is a huge step over going through a drive through to pick up burgers and fries. I'm pretty sure a piece of fried chicken sitting beside a mess of greens is a better choice than a preservative laden McHeartattack with a side of deep fried potato product coated in wheat gluten.

Some people need to back the hell off of Ms. Paula.

Help, I'm drowning. metaphorically, that is.

2012-01-16T10:29:00.000-06:00

Y'all know my schedule is crazy, but I think this week is gonna kill me. I'm using my time at the dentist office to squeeze out a blog, because I don't know when else I can. Thank God for wifi. I'm at my first of three dentist appointments, followed by a doctor appointment and three eye doctor appointments. Even though school is out, apparently the theater director, wrestling coach and swimming coach didn't get the message, because they are all having practice and rehearsals today.

Tomorrow morning the Leader of the Pack gets braces put on, then that afternoon, there are two more eye doctor appointments and one doctor appointment squeezed in at lunch. And of course there is cheer practice that evening, and theater rehearsal, and swim, and wrestling.

At some point this week I need to buy a dress for the wedding we are going to this weekend. My nephew is getting married and the hubs and I are flying to Florida with a couple of the kids. We farmed out the ones who have commitments to sports and or theater. They aren't mad because it's a flying trip and we won't have time to do anything like go to the beach. Because in south Florida, you can apparently do that in January.

I did find a dress for the Tornado and she loves it.

She picked out some cute red sparkly shoes to go with it. I almost bought a dress last month, but I lost ten pounds during the radiation garbage and I'm really glad I didn't buy it now. Because it would have been too big. Yeah, me.

But that does leave me with the problem of having to find a dress in four days, in between a barrage of doctor, eye doctor and dentist appointments. We leave Friday morning, so the clock's ticking. Too bad the mall isn't open 24/7

Yesterday I lost a friend

2012-01-12T12:53:00.000-06:00

12 years ago today, this little boy asked for a dog for his birthday. He didn't want anything else, just a dog. His mommy had three little babies under five and his daddy traveled five days a week. His daddy said no, but mommy let him have one anyway.

You see, mommy was having nightmares every night that a masked man broke into the house while she and the babies were sleeping. So she figured that having a dog around would be a good thing. She could bark if someone tried to break in.

Ashley was a very very very wild puppy. She ate everything, (even a crockpot full of food), was hyper and jumped on everyone, and was very willful and didn't want to train. BUT, she was wonderful with the kids. She let them jump all over her and ride her like a horse. Plus, she helped mommy stop having those nightmares. After a few years, the hyper little puppy turned into a wonderful dog. Not that she ever knew it. She figured she was just another member of the family. Probably because she was.

She never once in 12 years growled at one of the kids. She did growl at the ex-husband once because he was playing too rough with the boy she loved. Maybe that's why mommy loved her even more.

Today this boy turns 17. At times, he still acts like that little five year old, but that's ok. Last night, he didn't cry and he should have. It would have been easier to sit and hold him while he cried like that cute little five year old, but he didn't cry because that's what he thinks men are supposed to do. He had to sleep in his bed alone for the first time in 12 years. I know he misses her. And lord knows that I've been crying enough for the both of us.

Sitting here in the house, alone, it's different. All seven kids are at school and the husband is at work. And my Ashley isn't here to bark if a stranger comes to the house. She was more than just a dog. She was a friend and companion. There when other people walked away.

Without her here, I feel...

alone. I have another dog here, but it's different. She was different. She wasn't just a dog.

vulnerable. I never worried when she was around to protect us.

guilty. That I didn't, couldn't do anything to help her feel better. To fix her.

Yesterday I lost a friend.

I am grateful

2012-01-11T09:42:00.000-06:00

I will not complain about all the things that irritated me during my radiation treatment. I will only say that I am grateful.

I am grateful that I have a general practice doctor who listened to me when I said 'something just isn't right'. He went the extra mile and ran extra tests that found my cancer. I am grateful that I am now cancer free.

I am grateful that my mother's gall bladder attacked her. If it hadn't happened, then we might not have found her cancer so early. I am grateful that she is now cancer free.

I am grateful that my father in law is now also cancer free. He found his cancer after watching my children when I had surgery. I'm not saying that my crazy house caused his cancer, but I'm darn sure it didn't help.

I am grateful for all the friends who called to see if there was anything they could do, or say, or pray for.

I am grateful for children who pitched in to help out around the house. Instead of acting out and causing trouble because they were under stress, my children stepped up and made sure to add as little extra stress as possible. One of the vice principle's called me just this week to comment on how he hasn't seen a single one of my kids this year. Yes, that is a miracle.

I am grateful for a husband who stood by me and helped me deal with these issues in my own way. He handles stress and grief in a different way than I do, but he honored me by letting me handle things my own way. For that, I am extremely grateful.

The past year has been incredibly difficult, but with the help of family and friends, we managed to get by. I am grateful to begin a new year with a healthy family.

Cause if y'all didn't know,

cancer sucks.

chicken, it's what's for dinner

2012-01-08T12:46:00.000-06:00

I'm down to only one chicken. And of all the chickens to still be hanging around, it's that bitch Mildred. Today I went out into her part of the yard and she chased me around, trying to peck me and my chicken pants. I guess she's not a fan. She and the husband can form a chicken pants haters club now.

The only way I could get away from her was to kick the ever living crap out of her. So now, when I make my King Ranch Chicken, my chicken will be nice and tenderized.

And because I know a few of you were wondering, no I didn't kill my other chickens and eat them. The dog I had to get rid of killed one, the heat got one this summer and the other two are victims of our friendly neighborhood racoons. Don't worry, those coons are going down.

All Clear

2012-01-07T19:09:00.002-06:00

I got the all clear from my nuclear medicine doctors after my scan this week. The first thing I did? Cleaned my dirty house. My husband, bless his heart, tried really hard. He did a whole bunch of laundry and the kids stayed fed the whole entire time. And really, that's all a woman can ask for. Feed my heathens and keep them clothed.

The second thing I did, hug each one of the kids at least 17 times. The teenagers are highly annoyed. I don't care, though.

The third thing I did, eat whatever the heck I wanted to. Not that I tasted any of it. I find that I can taste weird things, like fresh cherries. It's a good thing those are only $1.98 a pound right now, because if I didn't know better, I'd think I was getting colon cancer from all the red poo. I can't taste anything with salt, cheese, bread, or bland tastes. One of my favorite foods ever, olives make me gag and spit them out. For some reason, they don't not taste, they taste really really bad. Like motor oil and feet. I'm not sure I can ever eat them again, even after I get my taste buds back. It's sort of like a really bad drinking experience, when you get sick and can't ever drink that type of liquor again. Not that I'd know anything about that at all. And no, that's not why I won't touch peach flavored wine coolers with a ten foot pole.

I had to put my bedroom back together after my isolation. We took out most everything, including things like drapes. Every light switch, knob and plug was covered in saran wrap. I think my husband used two rolls of tape to adhere it everywhere, because it took me a long time to get it all off. I'm still finding things here and there still covered in saran wrap. It took me a little longer to scrub the bathroom down. It hasn't been this clean since we moved in.

I go back to my doctor on tuesday to get the results of my scan. I'm not expecting any earth shattering news, so don't worry. I'm just glad to get everything back to normal. Well, as normal as things get around here.

ack! what the heck just happened?

2012-01-02T19:44:00.000-06:00

I was doing just fine, sitting by myself, following the rules, very glad to be done with the low iodine diet. Then today at lunch, nothing. Not nothing for food, I was eating steak with fried onions, sweet potato with real butter and sauteed mushrooms. Yes, my husband is trying to make up for lost time. The bad part is, I couldn't taste any of it.

Nada.

Nothing.

So I added some salt. Cause I can do that now.

Nada.

Nothing.

I thought maybe it was just a fluke thing, but now, I tried to eat something for dinner and again, Nada. Nothing. I might as well have been eating paste.

I don't know if y'all understand how bad this is. I LOVE food. I mean, more than is necessary for a human being. It's why I'm chubby.

A little less chubby than before since I lost ten pounds in two weeks. Yeah, me. I was going to enjoy putting a few of those back on before I crack down and diet for the upcoming SGG wedding. Looks like I don't have to worry about it now. If I can't taste anything, I might as well just eat salads every stinking day. I'm a little irritated right now because I keep trying things to see if I can taste something and so far, no good. I even tried a potato chip with french onion dip. Nada. Nothing. Then I tried tuna salad on Ritz. Nope, Nothing.

And for the biggest horror of all. I can't taste my Dr. Pepper.

I am weeping.

it would be easier if I felt bad

2012-01-01T12:51:00.000-06:00

I feel fine. I just can't leave my bedroom. I've been sitting around for days, watching tv, reading books, and now that we got the internet at home working again, perusing the internet. While I have been locked in my room, my wonderful husband has been in charge of the house.

I snuck out of my room this morning to get something while everyone else was asleep. And I saw my house for the first time.

I...am....afraid......

My husband just left for the store with the tornado. She is dressed in a red and green dress, with hot pink sandals. I insisted he put a coat on her. Not just to hide the outfit, but because a cold front came in last night and it's chilly outside. He also brushed her hair first. It took a while because it's the first time in four days. He finally gave up because it was basically dread locks in the back. It's going to take a bath and half a bottle of conditioner to get it untangled.

I'll be back in the saddle in a few days, so I'm going to try to enjoy my days as a woman of leisure. I'm not sure I could do it long term, that's for sure.

I'm home!

2011-12-30T15:47:00.000-06:00

The hospital was horrible. I won't bore you with the details. I cried for 24 of the 36 hours I was there. I wasn't given edible food until a hour before I left. That had something to do with my crankiness.

That, and being locked in a room that is not your own, relying on people who don't give a shit about you to provide you with everything you need. That was another big reason. I called my dr. and said 'enough'. Check me out. She had the nuclear medicine team come up and scan me and miraculously, I was way lower than they expected me to be on my levels and said I could go. They said that drinking a lot of water would help me pass the radiation through my system quickly and between the two gallons of water I drank, then peed or cried out, I must have done a bang up job.

It really didn't matter what my levels were, I wasn't going to stay there another minute. So now, I'm sitting in my room, bored to tears. But not real ones this time.

Its impossible to describe how good it feels to finally be home. There is nothing like being totally dependent on other people and having them let you down so badly. It was an experience I don't want to ever repeat. I wish there was some way I could help other people to avoid having to deal with it either.

Other than the trauma of the hospital stay, I feel fine. My neck is very swollen and a little sore, but I expected that. I didn't get nauseous or throw up at all. That might be that they didn't feed me for 36 hours, or just that my body handled the radiation pretty well. After I took the pills, they scanned me with the geiger counter and it read 45. By noon the next day, I was down to a 10, which they considered safe. It's still odd to me that they allow people do to this on an out patient basis. If there was an object in public that read that high, it would be immediately quarantined. But so many people with thyroid cancer are routinely given this treatment and sent home.

But I'm home now, still staying away from the family for a week to make sure that they aren't exposed to any risk. I have already read three novels and watched countless hours of tv. But I'm very happy that it's done and over with. Just a few more days in my room and I'll be back to normal. Well, as normal I get.

What will my superpower be?

2011-12-27T10:40:00.000-06:00

So tomorrow is the big day. I check in to the hospital at 8am and by 9am, they bring me my little lead canister containing one big radioactive pill. Then I just sit and wait.

For my superpowers to emerge.

The boy who swims told me that this is how the x-men developed their powers, so I will now be an x-man. When I asked him which super power I will develop, he suggested octopus woman, with 8 arms. So I can make him his food faster.

When he got up off the floor, I then suggested that my superpower be extreme sarcasm. It seems more fitting to me.

While three days in a hospital, being waited on my staff, but not bugged by them because they don't want to glow in the dark with me, sounds appealing, it is slowly loosing it's luster. I can't take in any electronics (ie, phone and computer) because they will get contaminated by radiation.

I know, I'm not sure how I'm going to get by for three whole days without communication to the outside world. I can't text the SGG, telling them which superpower I develop, I can't peruse pinterest, looking for crafts that I will imagine myself making, but never actually get around to, or check up on any of y'alls blogs. Because even if I don't always comment, I'm always hanging around. Sorta like a stalker, but way cuter.

Speaking of cuter, I have now officially lost nine pounds. I am now officially as fat as I used to think I was. I'm trying to loose another 10-15 before the big SGG wedding, but not more than that, because it's rude to be skinnier than the bride. I put on my skinny jeans this week and I can no longer call them chunky jeans because there was zero muffin top.

Yes, I did hear a chorus of angels singing.

Those skinny jeans are still a size larger than I would like them to be, but having them baggy makes me extremely happy.

Yeah cancer for making me skinny again! Leave me alone, I'm trying to find a silver lining in all this.

My treatment officially started yesterday, with my first shot. Given to me by my husband. The dr.'s office was closed, so they asked if I had anyone who could give it to me. I should have been concerned when he started laughing maniacally. He did a good job and didn't hurt me any more than the nurse did last time. The shots are there to keep me from having to go off my meds for weeks, making me very very hypothyroid. Hypothyroid equals bad. very. very. bad.

The downside of the meds is that you sort of feel hypo for the two days you are taking the shots. So today, my grand plans of putting away all the Christmas decorations might not happen. Unless I force the children to do it. Which is what I will probably do. What good are seven kids if you don't get to reap the benefits of free, forced child labor.

When I return, I will be in isolation in my room for a week, but at least I get my computer so y'all might see a lot of me. A whole whole lot.

another Christmas fail

2011-12-21T18:31:00.001-06:00

We attempted to make a gingerbread nativity set. And I stress the word attempted. At first, everything was going just fine.

We got our angel assembled, our little sheep started and our baby jesus in the manger. We put together the manger and waited overnight for the glue (ie, icing) to dry.

Overnight, the manger collapsed and crushed little baby Jesus. Mary and Joseph escaped unscathed. Even the angel survived.

Poor little baby Jesus, asleep in his manger. Aren't you glad the real story didn't turn out this way?

make due, or do without

2011-12-15T10:57:00.000-06:00

I just stuck my child's gift in a rubbermaid tote and wrapped the tote. The Tornado wants a piggy bank and I bought the cute pink one at Target with a crown. It's impossible to wrap without a box and I am officially out of boxes. Several presents are just ugly wrapped with tons of tape. Don't judge me, it's getting close and I'm tired of wrapping presents for seven kids.

I figured wrapping the gift in a rubbermaid tote was either

A) sad and pathetic. Because even though it's in a box, it still looks ridiculous and you can tell it's a rubbermaid tote.

B) ingenious and very eco friendly. I will let her unwrap this gift and then I will use it for something else.

So I'm going with b. I thought I was done shopping for her, but the husband reminded me what she wrote on her school Thanksgiving table and I knew I had just one more thing to buy.

Because when you are that thankful for piggy banks, you should probably own one.

What's on my plate

2011-12-10T10:23:00.001-06:00

Right now, no meat, no dairy, no soy, no processed or packaged or canned food. Nothing at all with iodine. I can have salt, but only the highly processed, no iodine salt. I can have pretty much any fruit or vegetable. so, yes. I'm pretty hungry right now.

BUT. I'm being a good girl and I'm following all the directions my doctor gave me. Because the day after Christmas I start my radiation treatment. They are going to allow me to stay at the hospital to avoid contaminating the kids. She said they usually only authorize it for patients who are a threat to others.

Not sure what that says about me.

Anyways, she said they will scan me with a geiger counter thing before they allow me to leave the hospital. The good thing about doing it right after Christmas is that my deductibles are already met. So this will save us a couple thousand dollars. The bad part is that I can no longer eat any of the yummy Christmas treats I usually make. My husband will probably make a few for the kids, but I just can't seem to drag myself into the kitchen. Unless it's to cut up another apple because my stomach is growling. again.

I no longer have to worry about those pesky holiday pounds I seem to add on every holiday. Now, instead of fudge and sugar cookies, I'm going to be eating steel cut oatmeal with walnuts and apples. I only say that because it's what I take a bite of every time you see a paragraph break.

It's not all bad. I sprinkled some stevia on it and a little coconut milk. It's much better than I anticipated. My usual breakfast of cereal with organic milk is out of the question right now. I always thought I are a pretty healthy diet, but now I'm totally questioning everything. Why at 39 was I diagnosed with heart disease and cancer if I eat such a wonderful diet. AND. How bad would it have been if I ate what most people eat?

I guess I need to start thinking long and hard about the foods that go on our table for nine. But right now, I need to go rinse the oatmeal out of my bowl. Because it sticks like a son of a bitch if you don't.

It's official. I'm over the hill.

2011-12-03T21:22:00.001-06:00

40

I remember when 40 sounded so old. Who am I kidding, 40 sounded old three days ago. I think I look pretty good for 40, don't you?

Ha. ha. I'm just joking.

I'm not that skinny.

I have been thinking about how I'm going to try to make my 40's a better decade than my 30's. In my thirties, I got divorced and got cancer.

But they weren't all bad, I also got re-married. To a real man, who even at his worst, is a better man that the one before. I also had most of my babies. As a matter of fact, every baby I had in my 30's, I thought was my last. Then I just kept having babies. I also got two new kids, who came without all the labor pains. They are my children just as much as the ones I gave birth to. And they are trying to make up for the lack of labor pains by being gigantic pain in the asses at the moment. During my thirties, I managed to be a stay at home mommy to my kids, while dabbling in real estate from time to time. During my thirties I also managed to meet my best friends and partners in crime. Even though we don't get to be in the same zip code often, I know that I can count on them.

Now that I'm 40, I'm looking forward to a few things. I'm looking forward to not having any more babies, but possibly getting a few grand babies. (late 40's, pleaseandthankyou) I'm looking forward to getting my sister back. She lived overseas for all of my 30's, so it's going to be great to have her home. I'm looking forward to figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. I'm doing some soul searching to figure out what my future holds, career wise. The stay at home mom gig doesn't pay real well. I'm looking forward to getting my health back. I'm going to revisit the don'tdiefromthecancer plan. It's going to include exercise and some serious dietary upgrades. Most of all, I'm just looking forward to my 40's. Having cancer has made me realize that I need to appreciate every single day.

This is what 40 looks like.

It looks damn good.

A Christmas Miracle

2011-12-01T15:04:00.001-06:00

Guess who I found? I had decided to get the kids a cat now that the coyotes seem to be gone. I thought that we should get a kitten for the cuteness factor. Plus who knows what kind of bad habits that older cats are going to come with.

The girls and I went in to the shelter by my house to look at the kittens, then just for fun, we went to look at the big cats too.

That's when I saw him. I looked. And looked. And looked some more. I thought, there's no way, after a year that it can actually be my cat. But something just told me he was.

So I paid to adopt my very own missing for a whole year cat.

How many 20 pound russian blue long haired cats are there in my neck of the woods? I asked the ladies who work there about him and they said that another shelter took him in a year ago because someone found him wandering. They kept him for a year, but since no one adopted him, they were going to euthanize him.

So our shelter took him in. Just 24 hours before I walked in the doors. And now that he's home, I'm 100%, most definite, beyond a doubt, sure that he is my cat.

see.....

Now that he's home (again) he still sleeps in the same place and ignores my dogs with a haughty indifference. And yes, he still lays on children.

And he's microchipped.

A big fat fail

2011-11-27T21:41:00.001-06:00

I really liked how it was starting to look. I put it on the door to check it out. My mistake was leaving it there, hung so precariously. I wanted to go to the store and find some ribbon for a big bow at the top, and also to help secure it to the door hook.

One of the kids went out the door and slammed it a little too hard and oops. Wreath down.

I used the unbreakable ornaments and true to their word, none of the actual ornaments broke. The part that held it to the wire wreath form, now that's another matter. About half of them went rolling around the porch. I'm left now to try to figure out how to fix the part that holds them to the wire.

I'm pretty sure it's going to involve hot glue.

And lots of it.

Jesus First, Other Second, Yourself Last

2011-11-22T09:18:00.001-06:00

I had a huge wall in my dining room that has been blank since we moved in. I won't hang anything on the walls that I'm not sure about because I don't want little holes everywhere. This however has created a problem in this room. We need a big china hutch, but can't afford one yet. So this wall has been blank for over two years.

Problem solved! And by problem, I mean my weird obsession about not hanging things on my walls.

The angle of this picture makes it look like they still aren't big enough, but in real life, they look great.

I couldn't find three frames that big that didn't cost a fortune. Plus I didn't need the glass. So I just made them.

I bought molding from the hardware store and used my miter saw to cut it. Then I spray painted it all black.

For the backing, I bought foam board and wrapped it with burlap. I used my handy dandy spray adhesive to get the burlap to stick.

A little more around the back edges to stick down the overlap and, voila!

Took me about 45 minutes to pick the burlap fuzz I glued to myself off my fingers.

I love how they turned out and it does fill up the void in the wall really well. For a month. Now I've just got to figure out what to put there December 26th.

Handmade Christmas - Peppermint Popcorn

2011-11-21T13:46:00.001-06:00

I'm going to post a month of homemade Christmas ideas, so I'm getting an early start. I'm not sure I can do 31 posts in 31 days, so I'm cutting myself a little slack. I plan to post gift ideas, decorating ideas and my favorite holiday recipes.

This idea is so yummy. My kids have eaten almost half of it already and it made a really gigantic batch. Even for my oversized family.

I started by popping about 20 cups of popcorn. I made it on the stove top because I didn't want to use those microwave bags. They are really buttery tasting and I didn't really want that mingling with my peppermint. I might splurge and get myself one of those air poppers so the kids can make it themselves without all the oil and preservatives. Plus it's cheaper this way. I used half a bag that cost me 80 cents.

I took half a box of peppermint candy canes and unwrapped them and put them in my mini chopper.

Beware. It's really loud and sounds like glass breaking. I wanted it fairly small, but if you want your peppermint a little chunky, then go for it.

I melted a few squares of white chocolate bark in my microwave and mixed in the crushed peppermint. DO NOT put the crushed peppermint in the bowl when you microwave the chocolate. You will get a giant glob of peppermint that takes a day to soak out of your glass bowl.

No, I wouldn't do anything that stupid. Why do you ask?

I poured the popcorn out onto two big sheet pans lined with parchment to make clean up easier. I used a spoon and just drizzled the chocolate peppermint all over it.

Yummy! But to me, it just looked a little bland. It tasted heavenly, but you couldn't really see it because the white on white just blended in.

so.......

I decided to grab two blocks of chocolate bark and melt that also. Then I drizzled it over the top.

Now that is gorgeous. And more chocolate just makes everything better. While the chocolate is still melted, you can add more peppermint. Wait for it to dry, then break it apart. It will keep for a couple of days in a well sealed container. Or two days because your heathens eat it all.

crunch

2011-11-18T08:15:00.001-06:00

It was not my fault. A gray pelt hit me yesterday. Neither of us were hurt and that's the most important thing. He was pretty upset, but I tried to be really nice. Deep down, I'm pretty ticked off. This is not the thing I needed right before the Holidays. My suburban is paid off and I really don't want another car payment.

I'm afraid that they might total it because so many parts are damaged. I'm not supposed to be driving it because he took out my lights. You also can't open the passenger door. When you drive down the road, you can hear wind coming in through the crushed parts. I said I was not supposed to be driving it, not that I'm not driving it. I have seven kids that need to get to school, theatre rehearsals and wrestling practice. I'm hoping to hear from his insurance company today so I can get a rental car. My biggest concern is that they are not going to be willing to pay for a car big enough to fit my whole herd.

I'm going to try really hard to not get out of my cute new pjs today. I think it's just better for everyone this way.

Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine

2011-11-15T10:47:00.001-06:00

This kid is sick.

and this one.

oh, never mind. It will be easier to do it this way. All the kids except this one are sick. I expect her to start hacking up a lung at any minute too.

And now, the biggest baby of all is sick. Yep, the husband. I have yet to succumb to the cooties. I am pretty sure it is my liberal use of vitamins c,d,b and zinc. Oh, and the daily shot of Jose Cuervo. My friend swears by it. If I get through this without getting sick, she is never going to let me hear the end of it. But I'll probably be too tipsy to remember.

Take that, you little bastards

2011-11-11T13:27:00.001-06:00

When I called the pest control company we hired, the conversation started like this, "I know we hired you because you are eco-friendly tree huggers like me, but if you don't show up in a hazmat suit and get rid of all the damn scorpions, you're fired."

Whatever they did seems to be working. These are just the dead ones I found on the porch this week. Yes, on my front porch.

And yes, they are dead. You don't think I would have gathered them up on this piece of paper with my kitchen tongs if they were alive, do you?

Yes, I washed the kitchen tongs.

That big one, he's about the size of the one I stepped on.

In the middle of the night.

In the dark.

With bare feet.

I have honestly never been stung that badly in my life. Little bastard must have stung me a couple of times before I jumped off him. He got the arch of my foot, so I didn't even kill him. My husband killed him. And then he grabbed some earmuffs for the kids while I cursed a stream of obscenities that would embarass, well, even my foul mouthed fireman husband.

Since they retreated the house, I have only seen one alive. It was in the back yard and I wouldn't have known it was there, but my ignorant black lab got stung on the nose, then started whining and sneezing like a maniac. That scorpion met the underside of my cute new blue keds.

Because I will never be barefoot at my house. EVER. AGAIN.

Using my spare time wisely

2011-11-09T11:00:00.002-06:00

Football season is officially over. No more five days a week practices, three games a week. No more running a concession stand, buying all the food, stocking all the food, opening the stand, doing inventory, scheduling people to work, no more losing my mind.

So now that I have all this extra time on my hands. Sorry, I couldn't even type it without laughing. It's called ADHD, people. I can't sit still.

I decided to make a cute skirt from ruffle fabric I saw yesterday. I saw a few examples on Pinterest, but didn't like them for one reason or another. One had a big wide elastic waistband and the other had gathered the fabric at the top. There was even a maxi dress made out of it. Obviously people love this fabric. Now that I've made a totally cute skirt in only 20 minutes, you can count me as a lover o the fabric.

I used the black material because I have a cute red shirt that I want to wear over the holidays.

Dont' freak out. I put in lots of pictures to make sure it was easy to explain. I really did have a new skirt in 20 minutes for $10.99. I have enough leftover material to make a skirt for the four year old and possibly the eight year old. Not the 12 year old, though. I don't allow hootchie skirts at her age. Or any age.

I pulled up the top layer of ruffles and cut it off right below the ruffle. This gave me the strip of fabric I would use later to put the elastic in and make a hidden waistband.

Measure out how long you want the skirt. I used about 24 inches because I wanted it below the knee. You need to allow about 3/4 of an inch for the top hem. The best part? There is no bottom hem needed.

I swear. And no, it doesn't look unfinished.

To make the bottom, you cut right below the bottom ruffle without cutting into the ruffle. Why?

Because that bottom ruffle becomes your bottom hem. See, I told you it would work out.

Now it's time to sew up the side. This is the only part I worried about. You need to make sure all your ruffles are going the right direction. To make darn sure, I pinned every ruffle. It didn't take long. Then I just ran a straight stitch up the side and trimmed any excess.

To get the elastic to the correct length, I used the very technical and complicated method of wrap the elastic around your waist and cut it where it feels comfortable. That way I didn't have to use a measuring tape and show you how chunky I am right now.

Remember that top strip of fabric we left at the top? Fold it over and with a straight stitch, sew it down. Hold the top ruffle out of the way so you don't accidentally sew it down.

Now take your expertly measured elastic and run it through the channel. Sew the ends together and hand stitch the small opening closed.

This is how the top of the skirt turns out. Very cute and with a totally hidden waistband. I held the top ruffle up and top stitched the elastic down using a zig zag stitch. Why? because I wanted to make sure the elastic didn't shift or twist. Is this step totally necessary?

Only if you have unmedicated OCD like me.

Here it is with my wrinkled, but cute red shirt. This skirt is so comfortable that you can even wear it on Thanksgiving. You know, cause it has an elastic waist and all.

I tried. I really, really tried

2011-11-06T17:48:00.001-06:00

I failed. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't avoid the inevitable.

I finally took her to Chuck E Cheese's.

I managed to hold out for four years, two months and ten days.

Now that she has been exposed to the kiddie crack, she asks about it daily.

God forbid we should actually drive near one. The pleas are heart wrenching.

Stupid birthday party

Christmas Countdown Tree

2011-11-04T13:43:00.001-05:00

I do not allow Christmas decorations in my house before Thanksgiving. Mostly because Thanksgiving is my very most favorite holiday and I don't want to bypass it like so many people are doing lately.

This is my one exception to the rule.

It's our new Christmas Countdown Tree.

Every day, the Tornado gets to tear off one of the rings. She is a very visual person and no matter how many countdown calendars we have, she just doesn't get it. At four, she can count to 20, and that's about it. I get tired of her asking how many days are left until Christmas, so we made this today.

It's a very visual and tactile way for her to count down the days till Christmas. All I did was cut out the amount of strips that were left (50 days, eeek) and then start stapling them together. Not really any rhyme or reason, just kept stapling till it somewhat resembled a tree.

My only complaint is that I should have used 51 so she can tear off one today, cause she's a little irritated that I told her she has to wait.

the bane of my existence

2011-11-02T11:20:00.002-05:00

this is what happens when I go three days without doing a load of laundry.

It actually looked way worse before I folded all 65 towels.

I should have it all put away by next week sometime.

Since when did I become a Halloween costume?

2011-11-01T12:37:00.001-05:00

2011-10-31T10:45:00.000-05:00

Happy Halloween

conundrum

2011-10-26T11:05:00.001-05:00

My four year old asked me why there was a hole in my pajama shorts. Do I explain to her that they are actually her dad's boxer shorts and that boys have different parts than girls and that hole is there for a reason?

Or do I just go with, oops, I guess it ripped?

forget yesterday's post. I was wrong

2011-10-24T20:20:00.001-05:00

If today is as good as it gets, then I'm pissed. Cause today totally sucked.

I had my checkup with my new cancer doctor. Remember a few months ago, when she said everything was hunky dory? Well, she has done a big ole 180 and now is saying the complete opposite, that I have to go to MD Anderson and see some thryoid 'guru' who will look me over. She started saying it could have spread and that there's no way to know without the treatment I don't want.

Which is total b.s. Because I've had the scan and it showed that it hadn't spread. And today I had another sonogram, and it was totally normal. And I didn't even get bloodwork done until I left her office. I tried asking her questions and she just walked out of the office.

So I'm more than a little confused.

And more than a little pissed off.

So it looks like I'm going to drive four hours to go see some new doctor.

If I absolutely, undoubtedly MUST have the treatment, then I just want a doctor who isn't Jeckyl and Hyde and makes up the $&*$^$* mind.

amen. where's the asprin.

as good as it gets

2011-10-22T22:16:00.001-05:00

Have you ever had a dream and when you woke up, it was so real, it was like you had been watching a movie? But it wasn't just a dream, it was watching a part of your life. One of those times that you look back on as the best time.

Does it make you feel good to remember, or sad because it's a part of your life that you have moved on from? In five years from now, what will you look back and say about today? Will you look back fondly and wistfully? Or will you be glad that part is over?

What can you do to make today one of those memories that you dream about and wake up smiling? Do you need to change something, do something differently? Or maybe just get a different attitude?

Because what if this is as good as it gets? Are you going to look back one day and realize how great you had it, but just didn't realize?

Today is a gift. Don't waste it, waiting for something better.

Anticipation

2011-10-17T20:48:00.000-05:00

I am a dork.

A dork who is terribly excited about the cold front coming in tonight. Why? Because I live in Texas, and wore shorts today because it was 92. It's October, for goodness sake. We have had over 90 days over 100 degrees this year. Officially the hottest on record.

So when the weather guy said a cold front was coming in and it wouldn't get above 72 tomorrow, we got more than just a little bit excited. So excited in fact, we had to go shopping at 7:45 pm to buy pants for Little Miss Sunshine. Because she currently doesn't own any.

Well, she does now. We bought two new pairs of jeans, but couldn't find the skinny jeans she wanted in her size. Because apparently everyone in my area had the same problem I did and they all went out and bought pants at the same time. All size eight slim girls in my area are fully outfitted with skinny jeans. Except Sunshine.

Oh well, she can get glad in the same pants she got mad in. The non-skinny pants, that is.

I have been contemplating all afternoon about what my clothing choice for our first fall weather day will be. Will it be my comfy fleece sweats? Or maybe my jeans with a t-shirt and my totally cute new sweater? Decisions, decisions.

I told you I was a dork.

Man Down

2011-10-14T13:04:00.000-05:00

Yes, I've been M I A for a bit. And no, I'm not the man down. Mom is. or, was. I will preface this by saying she's so much better, she's back at home now. But she scared the ever living crap out of us.

She went in for a minor, drive through kind of surgery. You know, the ones where you come and go in one day and don't even get the room service. Only when she went under, they couldn't get her back up. Or breathing on her own. Or pretty much anything.

A week in the ICU later, they managed to get her breathing on her own and awake again. We were so worried, I would have kicked her in the ass if it didn't mean I'd break something and then we'd be back to where we were in the first place, needing another drive through surgery.

I spent last weekend there, came home to squeeze three football games, one swim meet, one theatre workshop and a birthday party into the four days I was home, and now I'm heading back in the morning for a flying 24 hour trip.

I know, you envy me.

not.

Sorry, but I think another one of your boys is broken

2011-10-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

This is what the trainer said when he called me after the game. I got this news as I was driving to Houston to see the SGG and Ms. Paula.

Yes, I kept driving. Bitches before brats, that's the SGG motto.

The accident happened with three minutes left in the fourth quarter. It sucks to get injured during a game, but at least he got to play most of the Homecoming game. Dad took him to the ER that night and the next week, we went to the hand specialist. The specialist said they will watch it for two weeks and maybe he can play with a special cast on for the rest of the season. Because he's a lineman and doesn't need to catch the ball or anything. He just needs to be able to knock people on their butts. (And he's good at that.) When I called the coach to tell him the ER said it was definitely broken, he said, "ok, just put him in a cast and we can put him back on the line".

Yes, we take football that seriously around here.

If the cast thing doesn't work, or it isn't healing fast enough, at least he got to play in his Homecoming game. It makes me sad to think about him missing his whole senior year of football because of a broken hand.

The next night was the homecoming dance. And yes, his sling matched the outfit I bought him.

haha. real funny, guys.

Second verse, not quite the same as the first

2011-09-28T10:00:00.000-05:00

I feel like I have two sets of kids, the bigs and the littles. It used to be easier, because all the girls were little. Now that the DQ kid has gone to junior high and started doing all these big kid activities, she has started to fall into the big kid category. That leaves Miss Sunshine and the Tornado in the little kid category.

When the bigs were little, we used to do all kinds of fun things, like make crazy food, go on field trips, make crafts and tents in the living room. Now that I have five teenagers, I seem to be forgetting to do these things. So I have decided to make more of an effort to do the little kid things with the little kids before they turn into the bigs and it's too late.

So for our afternoon snack, we made mummy dogs. Of course, I used the nitrate free turkey dogs. I cut them in half and wrapped them with crescent roll dough and baked them up. It didn't take much time, but the kids loved them. (even the bigs, but they won't tell y'all that) I put the eyes on with a toothpick. My kids hate mustard, so I didn't use very much. Then for dessert tonight, we made some some caramel apples. Because even if it is still 102 degrees outside, I'm in a fall mood.

I'm in such a fall mood, I also made pumpkin pie french toast for dinner. Sorry, no pictures. The heathens devoured them too fast. They are super easy to make. You just add some pumpkin puree to the egg/milk mixture. I sprinkle in some pumpkin pie spice and a little bit of sugar. Not too much sugar because my kids drown them with maple syrup. I up the health factor by using whole wheat bread. I'm willing to make some homemade apple butter if the weather will drop a few degrees.

Time to go make a fort in the living room. It's at the very least, calorie free.

Paula made me do it.

2011-09-22T09:56:00.000-05:00

do y'all know what seeing her up close and personal does to a person?

It just makes you want to cook something.

Something like this.

Since I have been home from my SGG trip to see Ms. Paula, I have made a pecan pie, two loaves of banana bread and tonight I'm frying chicken.

I know! The calories are killing me. But if Ms Paula can rock the chubby, so can I.

We had a blast all being together, but this will be one of the only pictures I post. Cause, you know, sometimes my kids read this crap. And what happens with the SGG isn't always kid appropriate.

Um, Ms Paula, your matching SGG bracelet doesn't go around your neck. But we are glad you like it.

Now for the recipe

Banana bread

1 cup softened butter
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
4 cups flour, sifted
6 large, very, very ripe bananas
1 cup pecans, rough chopped

Cream together your butter and sugar, then add in your eggs one at a time. After fully incorporated, add in your mashed bananas. In another bowl, mix your dry ingredients. Slowly incorporate the dry ingredients into the wet. Fold in the pecans at the end so they don't get all pulverized with the mixing.

Pour into two well greased loaf pans and bake at 325 degrees for 1 hr 15 minutes.

yeah, yeah, I know the bananas aren't in the picture. I forgot them. But you know what black over ripe bananas look like.

mmmmmm. I like it best right out of the oven, still warm to melt the butter you put on top. Cause two sticks isn't enough butter. I think she's rubbing off on me.

Nap time

2011-09-21T11:02:00.000-05:00

This dog is spoiled.

What? I'm napping. Leave me alone.

What are you doing, woman?

Why can't she sleep on the floor like this dog?

To be totally fair, if her hips would let her get up there, she'd be on the couch too.

Spoiled dogs.

Three sweetest words in the English Language

2011-09-11T11:08:00.000-05:00

You Were Right

Especially when spoken by your ex-husband.

We were discussing the kids and how they are doing in school and I expressed my concern that the girls do not have enough of a grasp of their basics. They both make straight A's, and are both in the PACE math program. (the accelerated math class) Yet the DQ kid doesn't know her multiplication facts and Little Miss Sunshine can't spell.

How are they missing these most basic fundamentals, yet still straight A students? We discussed that when I homeschooled the boys, those were the things that I focused on the most, so that no matter what they were learning, they had a solid foundation. These two went to public school and don't struggle at all. Unless you count laziness as a struggle.

He mentioned that he knew I was going to bring up homeschooling as a reason that the boys do so well in school. I agreed, saying that the one on one attention and focus on the basics was one of the reasons they don't struggle. I said that maybe he should have supported those efforts a little more.

Then he spoke those glorious words.

And maybe. Just maybe. I don't want to kick him in the teeth right now.

Check back with me in a few minutes.

Updates on fires and football

2011-09-08T12:01:00.000-05:00

Fire in Smithville/Bastrop area

The fires in my area are mostly contained. The one in the photo above has been the most damaging in Central Texas. Over 1500 people have lost their homes. The fire in my immediate area burned the houses of several students in our school. When looking at the weather radar of Texas, it shows huge areas of cloud cover. Only it's not clouds, it's smoke. We need clouds. We need rain.

This season alone, 9,000 fires in Texas have destroyed over 3.5 million acres. That's more than the states of Rhode Island and Delaware combined.

The two teams coming together after praying for David.

The boy who collapsed at the football game is doing well. The last I heard, he is having a pacemaker installed. In his 17 year old heart.

He had recently signed with Rice to play football for them next year and they had given him a scholarship. When they heard about his condition, they called to say that even though he will never be able to play football again, they will still honor the scholarship. Suddenly, my opinion of Rice University is a little higher than it was before.

It's still not UT.

http://www.hillcountrynews.com/news/article_6ee07080-d5df-11e0-84d4-001cc4c03286.html

http://www.brazossports.com/football/Rudder-s-Wilganowski-in-stable-condition-in-Houston-hospital

Warning - serious brag alert

2011-09-07T17:12:00.000-05:00

First let me preface this bragging by saying that just because I loved something when I was younger, I do not force, nor cajole my kids into participating in those activities. That being said, all three of my oldest children love acting. My two step sons, however, do not. And that's ok. I will gladly watch them play football instead of act on a stage.

The DQ kid tried out for the school play, Helen Keller. Her brother was in the play last year and they did The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. He was the oldest brother, Peter. And he totally rocked it. He can't try out this year because of major schedule conflicts. I tried to tell the DQ kid that it was really, really difficult to get a part when you are in 6th grade. She reserves all the major roles for the older kids and if she got in at all, it would be as an extra.

Boy was I wrong. My girl has been cast as Annie, Helen's teacher. Yep, the biggest speaking role. You know, because Helen doesn't talk or anything.

The boy who swims is also a theatre buff and at the end of the year tried out for the advanced theatre class. I think 60 kids auditioned for the class, including the 20 who were in it the year before. (because we don't have seniors graduating yet) So when she announced this year's class list and he made it, that meant he bumped someone who was in it last year. So long, sucka!

Anyway, they have their first performance in October and he has been cast in a major role. It's a play I've never heard of, so I don't even know his character's name.

It looks like I'll be taxi driving kids to performances and rehearsals for a while. If I start to bitch about it too much, just remind me how much I loved it when I was their age.

First day of pre-school

2011-09-06T15:22:00.000-05:00

My night owl went to bed without a fuss and woke up with the biggest smile on her face, ever.

She is so excited to get to play with friends her own age, instead of teenagers. Although, I'm not sure these kids will do exactly what she says like her big brothers and sisters.

Look, Mommy, my name!

When I picked her up, she told me all about her day. Her favorite part was story time, when the teacher read a book about some letters. Up in a coconut tree.

Um, Avery, do you mean Chicka Chicka Boom Boom?

Yeah! You've read it?

yes, honey. I've read it.

Mommy, do letters not like humans?

Huh?

The book was about letters, and it didn't have any humans in it. So I thought maybe letters just don't like humans.

No honey, letters like us humans just fine.

Weirdest, most stressful weekend. Ever.

2011-09-05T21:15:00.000-05:00

It started Friday night. We drove all the way to College Station for a high school football game. It doesn't mean very much to y'all, but to me, that's over two hours and it puts me in Aggie territory. Aggies make me twitchy. I went to UT. We don't mix well.

Anyway, we were going to stay the night, rather than drive home at 2am. It was getting late, it was a great game, we were tied at 14-14 and there was five minutes left on the clock. One of the boys on the other team was walking off the field and dropped.

It is impossible to explain the silence that falls when a stadium with over 500 people have to sit and watch a 17 year old boy get chest compressions and CPR on a football field. They used the defibrillator on him and eventually got his heart beat back. All this occured while we sat, motionless and silent, watching the paramedics and listening to his mother scream and wail. The ambulance drove out onto the field and picked him up and went blazing away, sirens blaring.

The game was called. Neither team felt like they could continue. The coaches and boys all drove home that night.

We got an update later that night that he had regained consciousness and was alive and talking. It has affected all of us.

Now I sit on a sunday night, watching the news show all of the fires in my area. There was one that was five miles from my home. Our high school is being used as an evacuation shelter so they have cancelled school tomorrow. There are fires all over the area with hundreds of homes destroyed, thousands of acres of land destroyed and people left homeless. The one closest to us has affected friends and classmates.

I'm ready to go to bed and put this weekend behind us.

Friday Night Lights - A great way to start the season

2011-08-29T12:33:00.000-05:00

We love some football around our house. This friday was our season opener. We have been getting ready for this for months.

Yes, they pray before every game. This is Texas, you know.

We run these flags every time we score. This night, the boys got a workout.

That's the halftime score. Final score was 21-0, I just didn't get a picture. Actually, I didn't get any of these pictures. My friend took them since I spent the majority of my time coordinating the concession stands.

Thursday night was the freshman game and I forgot the camera, so I don't have any pictures. I know, I suck sometimes. They won also, 52-8. We wouldn't have run the score up like that, but one of their players took a horrible cheap shot at one of our players and we kinda got mad. It wasn't just a cheap shot, either. His jaw is broken and now wired shut for 6-8 weeks. So running the score up and humiliating them doesn't even make us even.

It will take me a week to recover, but I'm sure I'll be good for this week's game. It's an away game, so I actually get to sit and watch the whole thing. I also get to sit in the car for a really long time because it's over two hours away.

Yes, I am a dedicated football mom.

Three days, that's a new record for me

2011-08-27T09:35:00.000-05:00

I swear I do not look for reasons to go yell at school personnel. That being said, Yelling occurred. On the third day of school. Much, much, much yelling.

On the second day of school a boy on the bus decided to say some highly inappropriate things to my eleven year old daughter. So inappropriate, in fact, that I can not type what he said. yes, I have a horrible potty mouth. So if even I can not type the words, you know it's bad.

Really,

Really,

bad.

What is also bad is that one of her older brothers happened to hear what the little hooligan said. And a bad situation suddenly got a little worse. Because this brother decided to warn this boy that if he so much as breathed on his sister again, he would beat the ever living shit out of him. And then beat him some more.

So on the THIRD day of school, momma had to go to the office and have a big ole come to Jesus meeting with the principle. Who did not have time for me due to staff meetings. Four principals and not a single one had time to meet with a parent who was coming to discuss sexual harassment. I explained to them the severity of the situation, but it didn't help.

So I left.

And I got madder. And madder. And madder. Until.

I decided to try one more time. So I called the principal's secretary directly and let her know that she had one hour to have someone call me, or I would either drive straight to the school superintendent's office, or to the local police. And then maybe they could find the time to meet with me.

Miraculously, they found some time in their schedules.

And the 'situation' has supposedly been taken care of. Due to confidentiality laws, they can not tell me how it was taken care of. (which is total bullshit to me) I feel like we deserve to know what happened. As of right now, the asshole (I mean boy) is not on the bus. Apparently this is a temporary situation, though. And the boys are planning to either take turns riding the bus with her, or driving her to school.

I really, really hope they have taken care of the situation appropriately because if this boy even looks at my daughter, my boys are planning to pummel him. I've warned them to not touch him. Because violence isn't the answer. Especially when you are 16 or 17 and you can go to jail for it. Hopefully the threat of four very large, very angry older brothers will deter the little punk from saying anything further to her.

So now, in a giant school of over 1500 middle schoolers, every single employee knows my name.

This is not a good thing.

We are too old for this, Mom (the back to school post)

2011-08-22T09:20:00.000-05:00

This is Miss Sunshine's first day to be at a school all by herself. She has always had big sister there, but now she's solo. Next year, she will BE the big sister at school when the Tornado starts too.

The DQ kid started Jr. High today. And momma isn't ready for it. At all.

This is Dynomite's last year in Jr. High. He's not real thrilled to have little sister there with him, but he better get used to it.

Tonto finally made it to High School. He is excited, but nervous. He is worried that the classes will be much harder, but he was National Jr. Honor Society last year, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't have anything to worry about. His first high school football game is this Thursday night!

The boy who swims (also known as the boy who is always broken) is a Junior this year. He drives, has (had) a job, is a Varsity swimmer, is in the advanced theatre class, is a photographer for the yearbook and newspaper, and is taking AP English and History, and Physics. We don't expect to see him much this year.

Leader of the Pack is a Senior. I can't think about it much, because I start to cry. He made it much easier on me by being a turd this morning and acting all pissy that I made him take the picture. Being irritated at him kept me from crying. Friday night is our first Varsity game and I'm not sure I can hold back the tears for that one.

Mommy, are you mad?

2011-08-19T16:39:00.000-05:00

But mommy, that hair was hanging in my face.

So here we are, now that mommy cut bangs all the way across.

And put a cute pink hair feather in like her big sisters.

Cause I'm the cool mom.

With a cool kid.

The most magical time of year

2011-08-13T18:33:00.000-05:00

No, not Christmas, silly.

It's football season!

Six days till the first scrimmage, then 13 days till the first game of the season. I will have one boy playing on Tuesdays, one boy playing on Thursdays, and one boy playing on Fridays. This is the leader of the pack's senior year, so it will be a very exciting and emotional year for everyone. Today was media day where all the pictures were taken. They made sure the get pictures of all the seniors and their families. Now I need a new frame.

Are you ready for some football????????

Oops, I did it again

2011-08-12T16:21:00.000-05:00

Yes, the boy who swims broke his hand.

Again.

This time, he didn't hit the chest freezer. Instead, he hit his brother. Who is totally fine by the way. He is now currently bragging that he has abs of steel. I am receiving conflicting reports as to why it broke again only 9 months later. One dr. says bad luck, one trainer says not healed right to begin with. Whatever the case, momma ain't happy. Momma's pocketbook ain't happy. I'm tired of copays for specialists.

And, swim season starts in a week. And, this isn't a waterproof cast. Because of the angle they have to keep his hand in, he can't have one. So he will now have to sit on the sidelines while everyone else gets ready for their first meet. He will have this cast off before it, but very little time to prepare for it.

I'm just praying it's fixed for good this time, because the next step is surgery. And when we discuss that, the boy ain't happy.

No mom, it's ok, I'm four now.

2011-08-09T16:23:00.000-05:00

This is the response I get when she's trying to do something she shouldn't. Because turning four imparts some magical power that I was unaware of.

She chose sushi for her birthday dinner.

Yes, my kids are weird.

but cute.

Do the happy dance with me

2011-07-27T11:55:00.000-05:00

ok, I know I already posted today, but this news can't wait! Today was the big doctor appointment with my new, best in her field, doctor. They did a sonogram of my neck to look for the tumor the other doctor saw, then looked at my new bloodwork.

They found nothing.

The cancer marker in my blood is at zero and the sonogram showed absolutely nothing in my neck. The sonographer said he doesn't know what the old doctor saw, that either the she was seeing things, or that whatever was there is now gone.

So.....

They don't even think I need the radiation treatment at all. They will have me back in October to do another sonogram and in the mean time, she's calling a colleague at Harvard to see what he says.

I will not say the words cancer free,(because she didn't either) but according to everything today, that's a distinct possibility. Worst case scenario, I need a very low dose of radiation, but she said it's ok to wait till football and swim season is over.

Let's do the happy dance. I will post any videos that y'all send of your happy dance, just make sure that everyone is fully clothed and not doing anything you wouldn't want your momma seeing.

Trying to beat the heat

2011-07-27T09:12:00.001-05:00

We decided to go to the pool where this boy is a lifeguard. It was his day off and he went with us. He said it was really weird to be there while not working. He only yelled at kids twice for running on the pool deck.

I was going to apologize for the sucky iphone pictures, but these aren't half bad. The only thing that sucks is me for not remembering the real camera.

Can I get an amen up in here?

2011-07-21T22:37:00.000-05:00

I am........

2011-07-21T09:18:00.000-05:00

M
e
l
t
i

n
g

Eavesdropping

2011-07-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

I heard two of the boys arguing in the hall the other day and I went in to see what it was about. Apparently, one of them had used the restroom and left behind a foul odor in there. A brother was yelling at him about it and he was trying to defend himself, saying that he used air freshener.

Apparently it didn't help because his brother yelled, "now it just smells like shit and flowers".

I was laughing too hard to yell at him.

I really shouldn't eavesdrop.

The miracle of the internet

2011-06-28T17:42:00.000-05:00

So the sperm donor had some cute pictures of the kids made. He didn't offer to send them to me, but thanks to the miracle of facebook, I got them anyway!

This one perfectly illustrates their personalities.

I'm pretty sure they had a good time.

2011-06-25T10:04:00.000-05:00

No, their faces aren't sunburnt. It was 104 that day and the air hadn't cooled us down yet.

ta da!

2011-06-21T13:19:00.000-05:00

I hate the picture, mostly because I'm smiling crooked like I've had a stroke. But it's the only picture I have of the new do. I'ts a hundred dang degrees here at ten o clock in the morning, so the second I step outside, I get all hot and sweaty and nasty and that does not make for good photos. I love the new haircut because it's much easier to style. My only complaint is that it is most definitely not good boat hair. I used to look like rosanna rosanna danna, but at least I could throw it up in a pony tail. Now I look like carrot top. If I try the pony tail, I look like a cocker spaniel.

I need a hat for the boat.

My husband won't speak to me

2011-06-18T11:13:00.000-05:00

No, it's not a dead animal. I cut my hair.

Well, someone else did it. It's too hard to reach all the way around back.

no, I'm not gone

2011-06-13T21:44:00.000-05:00

Just crazy, insanely, busy.

I got a job.

yep, a real live, honest to goodness, sit at a desk

job.

yes, I am crazy.

No, it's not full time. I'm not THAT crazy.

Surprisingly, I like it. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house and talk to grownups without having to cut someone's food, or wipe someone's butt.

And the money will be nice too.

I'm thinking shoes. LOTS of shoes.

or groceries.

Damn kids

I hate having to admit when I'm wrong

2011-05-30T21:34:00.000-05:00

For the last year and a half, I've begun to worry about my husband's prostate. I often go into our bathroom to find little sprinkles on the floor. I'm familiar with the sprinkles, having four boys and all. The sprinkles lead to hollering and complaining. Then on occasion, arguing about who should have to clean up said sprinkles.

Scrubbing pee of the bathroom floor and toilet is one of my least favorite jobs. I know, you are shocked.

What I have finally come to realize is that I should blame his 50 year old prostate less and the short thighs of my three year old more.

I HATE having to admit I'm wrong. Almost as much as I hate mopping up pee.

a new first in our family

2011-05-29T15:59:00.000-05:00

Well, I did good. I didn't cry or embarrass him. I didn't check in on him 100 times.

I did readjust his tie 47 times. And he stood there like a good boy does without complaining.

He looked handsome. She looked very pretty. She's so skinny I want to feed her a sandwich.

They went to take pictures with friends, then went out to a fancy dinner before heading off to prom. Afterwards, there was no wild party with friends. They did the right thing and came back here to watch movies till it was time to take her home. But I didn't expect less. I raised him to be a gentleman.

And this morning, my gentleman gave me a long stemmed red rose for helping him get ready for prom.

I might not have given birth to him, but I'm more of a mother than she'll ever be.

one down, three to go

2011-05-24T10:31:00.000-05:00

Yes, more cupcakes. The coach and I teamed up and hunted down these blue sharks for the soccer party. We had our final game of the first ever soccer season for the Tornado. I'm not sure if any season will ever compare. We loved our coach and our team was very, very good compared to all the other teams.

It was totally not fair and there were several games where we pulled all the good kids just to let the other team score a time or two. Because at three, we want them to enjoy playing. Getting creamed by a bunch of ringers isn't fun. I had no idea that my girl had such athletic ability.

This was my attempt at a healthy after game snack. The kids loved them, so I'll count it a success.

My girl got a little too chummy with the coach's son. But he's cute, so at least she's got good taste. I missed the shot of them trying to play while holding hands. (I tried to crop it in so you can see they have their arms around each other's shoulders, but it got too blurry)

One season down, three to go. Tonight is Sunshine's final game and Thursday is the DQ kid's final volleyball game. Friday is the spring football game and then Saturday is Prom.

Lord, just help me make it through the week.

Warning - Major bragging ahead.

2011-05-23T09:38:00.000-05:00

This boy seems to have grown up overnight. This is him, getting ready to pull away all by himself in his new truck. It seems like just yesterday he was asking for the batman car for his action figures. Now, his requests seem to have gotten a little larger and in my opinion, scary. He's a good driver, but I'm still terrified every time he pulls out of the driveway. And now that he has his first job, it's more often than I like. The boy who swims is now a lifeguard. He will be a wonderful lifeguard and I can already tell how seriously he takes his job. When going through training, he told me he was worried because in this job, you can't screw up. Because when you do, someone gets hurt.

He knew we needed a volunteer for the neighborhood Easter party and without hesitation, we had our bunny. I'm not sure he will next year, because he pulled a muscle in his calf hopping around all morning. But I guarantee, no replacement bunny will ever compare. This boy hopped around the whole park, stopping to take pictures with all the kids. When he got home, he was hot, sweaty and sore. But the little kids loved him. And the dads who didn't have to do it again this year loved him. And because he was such a good bunny, the moms loved him.

It's end of the year banquet time and I was thrilled to hear that he was selected to the high school honors theatre program. I have never pushed him to do the same activities that I did in high school, but I was secretly very happy when he chose theatre and journalism.

The past few months have been very good to this boy. Who is rapidly becoming a very handsome young man.

Bakerella I aint.

2011-05-19T10:34:00.000-05:00

Just because my last name used to be Crocker, that doesn't mean that I like to bake. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook, but I'm not really the best baker. When you cook, you can just throw in a little bit of this and a little bit of that and it turns out wonderfully. When you bake, you have to actually measure ingredients or else a cake won't rise, or a batter turns too runny.

I have baked more in the past week than I have in the past year. I'm not sure what it is about the end of the school year and sports seasons that brings out the requests for baked goods. Throw in a birthday party or two and a science project and momma gets chained to the kitchen stove.

For the husband's birthday, I baked a chocolate layer cake, made a triple batch of banana pudding and made 45 cake pops. Then the teacher decided that the kids with summer birthdays should all celebrate before school was out, so I had to take another two dozen cupcakes up to school for Little Miss Sunshine.

Fifth grade is having a fund raiser bake sale, so I baked another two dozen cupcakes for that one.

See the one missing? As soon as I find out who ate it, it's gonna get ugly. I have a feeling one of my teenage boys got the munchies at bedtime.

Isn't my holder cute? I got it for mother's day. And I've already used it eight times.

This is the science project my son did. The cake itself wasn't a science project, he just had to make models of animal and plant cells. So he decided that he wanted to do them in cake, so the whole class could eat it after he did his presentations. He drew all the shapes in frosting and later labeled them. We made a round cake for the round animal cells and a square cake for the square plant cells. It actually turned out pretty cute. I better get an A. um, I mean he better get an A.

I better go back to baking, because I'm not even done. I have to bring cupcakes for the end of season soccer party on Saturday, then make a couple of desserts for the spagetti dinner for the football team. I better go eat one of the lemon bars I have in the fridge. I'm going to need the energy.

No news was good news

2011-05-14T22:29:00.000-05:00

Well, the cancer is still here. The scan showed it still in my lymph nodes and in my neck. The good news is that it hasn't spread anywhere else in my body. So this means that I have to do the radiation treatment that I was trying to avoid. We have to do another sonogram of my neck this week to see everything more clearly. I have been feeling like I'm choking again, but I thought it was because I was sick and my throat hurt. Well, I'm not sick any more and it still feels like someone has their hands wrapped around my neck. I really hope that we don't have to do another surgery.

Sorry for the bad news.

An outburst of epic proportions

2011-05-13T15:55:00.000-05:00

My scan went fine yesterday. I was in a bitchy mood to top all bitchy moods. When I am upset, I get really cranky. I was worried that I might say some ugly things to the people at the doctor's office or possibly physically assault someone.

In the end, I was extremely proud of myself. I did not cuss even one little time. The only time that I got snippy was when the lady at the front desk asked me for paperwork from my doctor. I told her, no, I don't have any paperwork, I've been here every single day at the exact same time this week. You should maybe recognize me by now. Other than that, I was really well behaved. When the nuclear medicine tech asked me how I was doing, I just said 'fine'. I didn't say the words in my head, which were "I have seven kids and cancer, how the f#*&$ do you think I'm doing?" And even though I wanted to smack her upside the head because she gave me some pills that gave me 24 hours of stomach cramps and diarreah, I kept my hands to myself the whole time. This may or may not have been due to the fact that she velcro'd my hands down to the table.

This is the point at which my niceness ceases. I was told to call my doctor after noon today to get the results of my scan.

So I did.

And they won't say anything to me. The person who reviews them wants to talk to my doctor, who is out of the office today, before they say anything to me. I calmly informed them that someone better call me back today.

And they still haven't.

I'm ready to hurt someone.

Dark Skies

2011-05-12T09:50:00.000-05:00

I'm sitting beside the window, watching the dark storm clouds and listening to the thunder.

And still waiting for it to rain.

Texas is currently having one of the worst droughts on record. It hasn't really rained in forever. The lakes are low, the garden is suffering and the grass is parched. Our water bill is astronomical right now because the husband refuses to let his grass go brown.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for it to rain.

I love listening to the thunder. The only thing better is hearing rain pelt a tin roof. Maybe it's a southern thing.

I feel like these storm clouds are also hanging over my head right now. I'm going this afternoon for my scan and there's a looming sense of doom. I'm usually a pretty positive person, but I can't stop thinking that my half empty glass is fixing to spill. I won't know the results of my scan for a few days, so the dark clouds just get to hang around a while.

So I'm sitting here, waiting for it to rain.

Happy Birthday to my Wonderful Husband

2011-05-10T08:54:00.000-05:00

Today is my husband's birthday. This means all that laying around I did on mother's day is coming back to bite me in the rear. Because today I'll be the one doing all the cooking and cleaning. He has requested gumbo and a carrot cake, so I'll be cooking most of the day.

I'll take a quick break to drive into town and get a stinking shot.

Again.

I understand that it takes a specialist to handle the radioactive medicine, but you'd think somebody closer could give me that shot. I was surprised, because it didn't hurt much at all, but I did spend most of the afternoon thinking I was going to heave at any moment. It makes some people sick to their stomach, and I guess I turned out to be some people.

At first, I felt bad that I was getting my testing done the week of my husband's birthday, but I'm doing it at his request, so I'm not feeling so bad about it any more. Plus, I wont' be radioactive till the day after his birthday.

I'll let y'all know if I start glowing in the dark.

Mother's day recap

2011-05-09T07:57:00.000-05:00

Mother's Day went well. I managed to not cook one single thing or wash one single dish. I did, however, do one load of laundry and sweep a few floors. I couldn't help myself. oh, and clean out the chicken coop. But it needed doing.

I'm finally feeling better. The tornado and I have been dealing with a nasty case of bronchitis. She had a bonus case of pink eye on top of everything, so it's been misery for a while around here. When she gets sick, she won't sleep without touching someone. She woke up in the middle of the night last night, hollering that her daddy needed to hold her.

He did. Still is.

Yesterday, I got to sleep in, then woke up to a flurry of homemade and purchased cards, hand made gifts, a certificate for a pedicure and a silver heart necklace. I had a menu that I could choose my breakfast from, and then it was brought to me on a tray.

A girl could get used to this.

It was a blissfully lazy day. We did a little bit of work in the garden, but that's not work to me. I did manage to clean out the chicken coop and get some more compost working. After that, the kids and I went swimming.

Surprisingly, I never took a nap. This morning, I already feel like I need one, but mother's day is over and I've got a million things to get done today, so no nap for me.

Today is the first day of my cancer testing. I won't know anything for a while. Today and tomorrow, I have to get some shots, then wednesday I drink the glow in the dark juice so they can scan me thursday. And of course, since it's nuclear medicine, I have to drive all the way into town to do this. Apparently no one in my little town can handle radioactive medication.

I hate shots.

I hate driving into town.

Unless it's because I'm shopping.

Maybe I should, just to make the trip worth while and all.

cough, cough, aaaahhhh cho

2011-05-02T21:41:00.000-05:00

I've been sick. I can't breath through my nose. And. I'm fairly certain my head might explode.

Since mom has been sick, that means that my house has become a nasty, filthy pit. But I'm still too sick to do anything about it. Hopefully tomorrow I can muster up the strength to clean it up.

And it's a good thing I like to fold towels, because there's five loads of clean ones dumped on my couch.

The kids have resorted to sitting in the floor. Instead of folding them.

Assholes.

I stopped hugging the tree long enough to take some cold medicine yesterday. It did nothing for me. I started out with the neti pot and some slippery elm lozenges. I have slipped down that slippery slope of pharmaceuticals and I'm now resorting to extra strenth Nyquil. This means I will sleep for approximately 82 hours. Cause that's what it does to me. But if it means I can quit being a mouth breather, then I'll take it.

Reasons number 274 and 275 that I'm weird.

2011-04-28T17:00:00.000-05:00

#274 I like to fold towels.

It is a really, really, really good thing that I like to fold towels. Because I fold two or three loads almost every day. Between nine people bathing and showering and the pool that is now being frequently used, I'm overwhelmed with dirty towels. There is something very pleasing about folding towels and seeing them stacked so perfectly in their neat little stacks. They must also be folded in a very specific way. If they aren't folded in the manner in which I dictate, they will be refolded. Pre-seven kids, I even put them in a stack that alternated colors in a pattern. Now, I don't have time for such frivolity. Ah, the good old days.

#275 I bit my tongue.

No, I didn't do it on purpose. But yesterday at dinner, I bit my tongue and it hurt like heck. And now I have this little flap of tongue hanging off and it's driving me bonkers. I keep flicking it around in my mouth. But I can't bite it off because it's still attached so if I try, it hurts worse than the original bite. Yes, I've tried. It's driving me that crazy. So if you see me in the next couple of days and I'm doing something weird with my mouth, it's just that flap of tongue that I'm messing with.

Soccer Diva

2011-04-21T14:47:00.000-05:00

This is why they let three year olds play soccer. Because they are so stinking cute. She has no idea of any rules other than don't pick it up with your hands. But to see her running up and down the field like she knows what she's doing, it makes it worth getting up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning.

SSSCCCOOOOOOOOORRRREEE!

Eat my dust, headband boy!

Her favorite part is still the after game snack.

Tan lines

2011-04-20T12:34:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure I've gotten my trademark flip flop tan lines this early in the year. Between the soccer field and the pool, and pretty much anywhere I go, my flip flops clad feet never get a break. I try to kick them off when I'm sitting to prevent the tan lines, but it seems to be in vain.

no, I will not be showing you any other tan lines.

I'm tired

2011-04-18T09:41:00.000-05:00

I'm tired. I'm pretty sure I could crawl into bed and go to sleep for the next three or four days. I hate feeling like this. Especially when I have so much to do. Today is one of my relatively calm days, but that doesn't mean that the eight loads of laundry piled up can be ignored. It's either do the laundry or the kids have to wear flip flops to school because we have exactly one pair of socks clean at the moment. And those are mine. Because I always wear flip flops.

I'm not sure why I'm quite this tired today. Other than the whole wacky medicine schedule. The dr. has me on one level of meds all week long, then one day of the week, it's a lot higher. Today is my higher day. Well, actually, yesterday was supposed to be, but I took the wrong pill. So I took it this morning and now I feel like total crap. I also hate that I'm taking the synthetic version. I don't know why she didn't put me on the natural one. She knows I'm a tree hugging hippie that hates medicine. I will ask her when I go back, but I don't go back until after I have my test run in May. So I have another month of feeling like poo until I can get in to see her again.

I wanted to go to yoga class today, but I'm pretty sure I'd fall asleep on the mat. And that's embarrassing.

yes, I know from experience.

My daughter, the Volleyball player

2011-04-13T18:22:00.000-05:00

That first serve was an ace. The second one, well...... not so much.

and yes, it did hit me in the face.

Public Service Announcement

2011-04-12T11:04:00.000-05:00

The boy who swims is driving. Only two more weeks until this activity will take place without a licensed adult at his side.

Be afraid.

Be very afraid.

I am.

I am also taking donations to help offset the cost of automobile insurance for two teenage boy drivers. I'm already broke from all the groceries I have to buy.

Busy, busy, busy

2011-04-07T15:13:00.000-05:00

So I just got back into town last night and this morning I spent several hours getting Dynomite checked at yet another doctor. I have been out of town, helping take care of my mom after her surgery. Her chemo and radiation went well and her scan showed no remaining cancer, but they wanted to remove part of the lung and do another round of chemo to make darn sure. I'm ok with darn sure. After the surgery, I'm not so sure she is. They finally released her to go home, and by home, I mean my aunt's house. That way someone can be with her all day if she needs something. I wish I could have stayed longer to help out, but it took me two months to get Dynomite in to see this specialist, so I couldn't reschedule. I'm not waiting another two months.

So now I have to get ready to speak at a conference on Saturday for moms with Special Needs Kids. I'm speaking on nutrition for moms, so that we can stay healthy to help care for our kids. A conference I'm preparing for while trying really, really, really hard to convince myself I do not need a Dr. Pepper. Real sugar dr. pepper or not.

Before the conference, I have to attend two soccer games and one volleyball game, then race over to the conference, speak, then race back to attend the awards banquet for the swim team.

In between then and now, I have to take kids to volleyball practice, soccer practice, bake two pecan pies for the second grade Rodeo day and fine tune my speech.

So what am I doing right now?

I'm going to get a pedicure. Because if I don't sit down for a few minutes without hearing Mommy, someone might get hurt.

bye

what did I do?

2011-03-30T20:50:00.000-05:00

This is before.

And now after.......

I thought it would be cute and cooler for the summer. She's so embarassed, she hid under my bed for two days. I don't blame her. She looks ridiculous.

And I didn't do it myself. I actually paid someone $50 to do it. Now who looks ridiculous?

Lord, Help us all

2011-03-25T20:28:00.000-05:00

That's all we needed. For little Miss Priss here to go to her first soccer practice and run circles around everyone else. Because she needed something else to make her think she's special.

It's not what you are thinking

2011-03-25T11:32:00.001-05:00

No, my absence does not indicate that I murdered one of my children at the fair and I'm now in custody, awaiting trial. I did not even physically harm any of them. I might have wanted to once or twice, but I DID NOT. I've just been busier than a one legged man in a butt kicking contest. I haven't been online other than to check email, or occasionally check facebook. But mostly because I can do those things on my phone while I'm waiting for the next thing I've got to do.

I'm currently coordinating our health and wellness fair this next month at the elementary school. This involves calling and visiting a bunch of people to come participate. I'm still a little shocked that I'm involved with the PTA, but for some reason, I am. A former homeschooler who hated the public school system is now a bonafide PTA mom. They asked me to be on the board, but I just laughed at them. I played the "I have seven kids" card. Because it works every time.

I also chapperoned the second grade field trip. I know! When I did it last year, I swore I'd never do it again, but if those big blue eyes looked up at you, begging, you know you'd do it too. Afterwards, she thanked me, saying she was so glad her mommy got to go with her on the field trip. Her friend's mommy was supposed to come, but she didn't make it and her friend was sad. She was in our group and really quiet at first, but then the Tornado decided that she was her new BFF and she perked right up. So I guess I'm glad I went. It was definitely better than last year when some first graders tried to climb the walls at the underground cave and got yelled at by our 90 year old tour guide.

I'm trying to keep my chickens from killing the new girls. So far, they aren't dead, but they are most definitely worse for the wear. They have taken to hiding up top in the coop while the other girls are downstairs in the run. Which is fine, except for the fact that all the food and water is down in the bottom. And it's already 90 degrees here. Roasted chicken, anyone?

My dog got fleas. Not the two labs, just the new little yorkie that keeps peeing on the floor. I don't know how one got them, but not the others, so I just treated them all. She spent so much time rolling around in the grass, or scraping her butt on the brick on the back porch, her hair got all matted up and I had to have her shaved. I thought it would be cute and cooler for the summer. I thought wrong. She is currently hiding under my bed in embarrassment. I'll take a picture when I can drag her out.

Soccer and Volleyball started this week. I have two in soccer and one in volleyball, so that adds three additional practices and three more games a week to our schedule. No, I'm not coaching. They asked me to coach volleyball, but I played the cancer card. It also works. Plus, there is a good chunk of time in May that I will be radioactive, so I'm pretty sure the parents don't want me contaminating their kids. We are also in the midst of track season for one of the boys and the beginning of spring football for another boy. My husband and I are board members of our high school football booster club, so that means we are already planning for next years football season.

so, I'm sorry I haven't been around lately. If you noticed that I haven't visited you lately, don't take it personally. I haven't visited anyone.

PS. If you want to friend me on facebook, send me a message. If I know you, I'll add you. And by know I mean we have at least exchanged a comment or two. I'd love to add more people. It makes me feel like I'm popular and interesting and not weird like I really am.

A glutton for punishment

2011-03-16T22:57:00.000-05:00

Our spring break trip got cancelled due to the flu, so now I'm stuck at home with seven bored, troublemaking, not sick anymore kids. My husband is working crazy, insane hours because of the South By Southwest weeklong music fest in Austin. So this means that I am taking all the kids to the rodeo and carnival tomorrow by myself.

By Myself.

Pray for me.

And my kids.

Mostly my kids.

Because I'm cool like that

2011-03-16T11:08:00.000-05:00

My photo taking skill still suck mightily, but this tasted pretty darn good. I'm not the best arranger, but I don't think the recipient cared much. She just had a baby and when she was up walking the floor at 3 am trying to get her baby to sleep, that little jolt of sugary goodness hit the spot. I think next time I need to spend more time with the art of arranging, and maybe throw in a few silk flowers for cuteness. Nah, I'm just happy I finally mastered the cake pop.

My new girls

2011-03-14T13:33:00.000-05:00

We are sad to announce the passing of Dominique, our Barred Rock Chicken. She was a lovely, calm chicken that loved to sit in your lap and get some attention. She was smaller than the other girls and they tended to pick on her a bit. We gave her additional treats to make up for their greediness. She was laid to rest on Tuesday, in the large blue trashcan.

This weekend we decided to get a few new girls to add to our small little flock. We thought it would be better to add two so that they could defend each other when the other girls pick on them. It's just what happens to chickens that get introduced to an existing flock. We are doing a few things to help the transition because nature is sometimes cruel. We bought some larger chickens and we are putting them in a place where they can see each other but can't get together. Then after a few days, we are going to put them into the coop at night when all the girls are sleeping. Chickens are a little stupid, so there's a good chance that they will just think they've always been there and not peck them too terribly badly.

Little Miss Sunshine is holding Rhoda. These chickens are Production Reds, which are a cross between Rhode Island Reds and New Hampshire Reds. They are very good egg layers and lay large brown eggs. They are also very friendly and like to be held.

Thank Goodness, because they don't really have a choice when this girl is around.

This is Ruby, named after my husband's grandmother. I put a challenge out on facebook for name suggestions and I was shocked to see how many people wanted to help me name my chickens. The other name I liked was Eunice. There were so many good suggestions that I now want to buy another dozen chickens.

The Husband is not amused.

I'm just as surprised as you are

2011-03-10T10:24:00.000-06:00

If you can't see the incredibly blurry, iphone photo, that's 3.2 miles. Yes, I did a 5K on the treadmill last week. One of the boys wanted to go work out for an hour, so I figured I would just see if I could do it. I'll be honest here, I wasn't running, but I was walking really fast. I tried to keep it around 4mph. I am not nearly in as bad of shape as I had originally assumed. I was sweating a little bit, but I could talk the whole time. Maybe that means I need to up the speed. Then again, I'm the woman who fell down in the front of the school on the first day in front of all the other parents. Maybe I should just stick to walking fast. Because apparently walking slow means all the parents get a nice shot of my rear end tumbling down the hill in a skirt. And thong.

Yeah me! For the 5K, not the showing my butt.

Another one bites the dust

2011-03-09T09:42:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, the doctor said all three of my girls have the flu. Little Miss Sunshine started it and is just starting to feel better, but now the Tornado and the DQ kid have come down with it. And just this morning, the boy who swims woke up with a 102 fever.

So, that's four out of seven. My spring break plans are not looking so good right now. I'm just praying that I don't come down with it. Because my husband is working crazy insane hours right now because of the big South by Southwest music festival that Austin has every year. Part of his job is to make sure everyone is compliant with the laws regarding fire safety. So he's an incredibly popular man this time of year. NOT. When he shuts down clubs, or tells people they are overcrowded, or just writes tickets, people get a little mad. He did good last year and didn't make the news. We are hoping to avoid it again this year. The year before last he shut down an illegal club and the organizer threw a wall eyed hissy fit and called the news people to complain. They were totally in the wrong, but tried to make it look like my husband had a vendetta against them.

So this time of year, I'm a single mom. And now, I'm a single mom with four kids with the flu and more dropping by the minute.

I'm off like a herd of turtles

2011-03-08T10:10:00.000-06:00

Does this give you any indication as to the state of my world right now? That's six loads of laundry. Clean laundry. Plus there were two more loads in the washer and dryer too. So I'm behind on everything. Laundry, blogging, reading y'alls blogs, sweeping.

On the positive side, I did get all that laundry folded AND PUT AWAY. Seriously. So today is my day to catch up on blogs. In between taking care of kids, that is. Half my kids have some sort of illness and we have dr. appointments this afternoon. I'm afraid it's the flu. Which totally stinks because next week is our spring break and we were supposed to go somewhere Friday as soon as the kids get out of school. Unless there is some miraculous healing at our house, we might be having a staycation.

Back to Normal. Whatever that is.

2011-03-02T07:54:00.000-06:00

I'm actually feeling alot better now. The hot and cold swings are starting to go away (thank goodness!). I'm ok with one or the other, because I can just readjust the thermostat, but back and forth is no fun. I've been dressing in layers and either bundling up like an eskimo, or stripping like a cheap ho.

My voice sounds normal about 50% of the time now. The other 50% I sound like a 90 year old emphysema patient. Sort of like the sperm donor's great, great aunt actually. The only time I ever met her, she told me she hated him when he was a kid, put out her cigarette and lit a new one. Then she told me she was really glad my kids look white. um, yeah. Nice to meet you too.

The down side of feeling good again is that people expect me to do crap again. Crap like laundry and dishes. And real estate. Yep, it's time to get off my duff and get back to work. Only this time, I'm only going to work part time. You know, work smarter, not harder. Besides, it's virtually impossible for someone with seven kids to work full time. There's always something going on.

I had new photos done and he totally rocked. The shot looks good and he is a wizard with the photoshop. For some reason my scar stood out like a giant, red scar that day and he photoshopped that sucker right out. He said no, he can't do it in real life. Not for less than 20 grand at least.

Looking at it now, I'm really irritated that I'm not wearing any jewelry. Dang, he must have photoshopped those teeth too because they are really white. Not that I have nasty yellow teeth or anything.

So this is me. The slightly more attractive than normal, highly photoshopped version of me. Makes you want to hire me, right?

A plan of action

2011-02-26T11:26:00.000-06:00

So I have developed a don't die from cancer plan. It's a pretty good one. On paper. The first thing was to give up coffee.

chirp. chirp.

Why in the heck would you give up coffee? Well, because my coffee has more cream than coffee in it, so it's pretty much a big sugary mess of artificially flavored peppermint mocha goodness. I'm trying to eliminate all artificial stuff, and add in tons of fruits and veggies. So I'm sitting here drinking a smoothie made from bananas, frozen pineapple/orange juice chunks, almond milk and a giant handful of spinach.

And it's delicious.

So really, giving up coffee won't be that bad. It's just change. And change is hard. Thinking about dying and leaving my kids to live with the sperm donor is worse, so I'm drinking the damn smoothie.

A while back I gave up diet sodas, switching to the occasional high octane, full sugar Dr. Pepper. They make it in Waco with real sugar and it tastes better to me, so I was buying those when I could find them. My thought was that I'd rather be fat than die from cancer. If only I'd given them up earlier! They say hindsight is 20/20 and all. So now, I have cancer and I'm chubby. Go figure.

Part of my new don't die from cancer plan includes giving those up also because the sugar isn't good for me. Suddenly the plan isn't quite so appealing. I seriously love Dr. Pepper. It used to be Doctor recommended at 10, 2 and 4. Where can I get that Dr? Oh never mind, he's probably dead from cancer.

I'm hoping that my plan will also yield some weight loss results. So far, not a pound. Which is really disappointing, but my main goal is health so I'm not going to quit now. My family and friends are being very supportive.

So I'm declaring monday as don't drink coffee to support Michelle in her don't die from cancer plan! You too can give up coffee for one day and we can all be bitchy together! Who's in?

How many points can I get for that?

2011-02-24T11:29:00.000-06:00

Hello, My name is Michelle and I play words with friends. I know it's a problem, that's why I'm here. Acknowledging there is a problem is the first step, right?

My husband and sons are also addicted. I have games going with all of them right now. I think one or two might be cheating. If you are interested in cheating, you just need to get descrambler. How do I know this?

Don't ask.

But in my defense, I only use it when you are more than 80 points ahead. Or a stranger. Or a cocky teenage boy who thinks he can beat his momma.

Gotta go, someone just played a word.

Time's up.

2011-02-22T09:15:00.000-06:00

The day they told me I had cancer, I cried for about thirty seconds. That's it.

Does that make me a cold, unfeeling person?

I didn't want to worry my kids, or my husband. So I just sucked it up and put on my big girl panties.

I'm tired of wearing my big girl panties. I'm tired of sucking it up, and bottling it up. I'm tired of pretending like nothing's wrong. And I'm REALLY tired of people telling me it's the best kind of cancer to get. Who the hell thinks that makes me feel better? Because it's not the best kind of cancer to get. No cancer is good to get. And yes, I know that I won't loose my hair, or go through chemo. But I do have to have a treatment that I don't want to do. A treatment that will increase my risk of getting one of those BAD cancers, unlike the GOOD Cancer I have now.

I can't even talk about it, because it makes most everyone around me mad to even hear me say that I don't want the treatment.

And I'm confused, because some things I read say I should have it, because it's better to make sure they get everything out. And then some things I read say to stay away from it, that it's more dangerous than the cancer itself.

I don't know what to think.

I don't know what to do.

I don't know how I'm going to make this decision.

But my time's up. The sand ran out. I have to make that decision.

Now.

Warming Trend

2011-02-20T13:29:00.000-06:00

The cold weather seems to have finally passed in our area and the warm weather is very welcome. Along with the warmer weather, comes thoughts of our garden. Last year was a big learning experience for us. We bought our soil from someone we weren't familiar with and it was very barren. Hardly anything grew right, not even my flowers. We tried to amend the soil, but nothing we did made much of a difference. So we dug it all out and are replacing it with soil from a company that has proven performance. John Dromgoole is an Austin legend. His products and advice are invaluable to anyone in the Austin area who gardens.

I always thought that dirt was dirt. Boy, was I wrong. Not only do we have to replace all that soil, but we had to double the height of our beds. Our house was built on solid rock. This makes it great for our foundation, but horrible for plants and grass.

It is a huge amount of work, but we love gardening. Hopefully, after we make the changes this year, we will not have to do this ever, ever, ever again.

We had them dump all the dirt behind our house so we could have easier access to it. See all that rock behind the dirt? That's what's under my house and garden. Thus the need for such deep beds. We had the dirt delivered, only to discover that we grossly underestimated how much we needed. Another delivery of that same amount should do it.

In anticipation of the warmer weather, my hubby got all our seeds started indoors under our grow lights. We are also starting some for friends since normal people don't have grow lights in their offices. Well, maybe if they are growing something else, but we don't have any friends like that.

I have begun to refer to my former home office as our indoor greenhouse. Mostly because there's currently more plants than office supplies in there. But also because the organic fertilizer my husband uses smells like some awful combination of dead fish, feet and dog poo. So I keep those doors closed. To my friends and visitors, You're welcome.

We start all of our tomatoes, cauliflower, broccoli and herbs. Everything else can be sown outside.

I'm too impatient to wait to plant some things outdoors, so I went ahead and got some lettuce and carrots growing in the house. Who said good things come to those who wait? No one who had commercial grow lights in their home office, that's for sure.

This is so weird, I don't even know what to title this

2011-02-16T21:37:00.000-06:00

My husband brought home a bag full off all these weird promo items. It had like ten coozies, 14 pencils, 6 pens, two key chains, hand sanitizer, and this little item. It's an alligator foot on a stick.

I know, I was grossed out too. Who in the heck gives out an alligator foot as a promo item? And what the heck is it? Let me give you a clue.

It's an alligator foot back scratcher.

Gross.

I mean, we are no stranger to animal parts stuffed and preserved, but there has to be a limit. I set the limit at feet. Especially feet with big claws on them.

When I get started again with real estate, you can guarantee that I won't be handing out these with my name on them.

Cat fight at Rudy's BBQ

2011-02-15T21:57:00.000-06:00

Well, almost.

We went out to dinner at my favorite BBQ place. It's this cute little place in a gas station. No, it's not gross or anything. It's really good and they have some awesome sides to go with that yummy brisket. My favorite is the creamed corn. I tried to make it once, but the dog ate the crockpot it was cooking in. Yep, the whole crockpot. She shit sparkely glass for a week.

Anyway. When I parked, I was kinda close to the car to the right, but not too close, cause we got out just fine. While eating dinner, we noticed that a lady was standing right behind the car parked to my right.

And she just stood there.

And stood there.

For like twenty minutes. I figured she was just waiting for someone to finish eating. Yep, that someone was me.

See, she didn't like my parking job and was going to make sure I knew it. When we finally left, she just stood there, so I went about my business, putting the Tornado in her car seat.

Little Miss Chicken Shit starts in on my kid, saying we were parked too close and she can't get in her car.

Well, she could have if she laid off that creamed corn, cause girlfriend was, um, a little on the large side. That's the reason she couldn't get in her car on that side, not cause I parked too close. There wasn't even a car on her right side, so she stood there and waited on me just to make a point.

It's a good thing I didn't hear her tell my kid that she tried to set off my alarm by opening my car door, which wasn't locked. If I'd heard that, we might have had to call the po po for some chubby girl b&e. Besides, if she could open my door, why couldn't she open her door?

Once again, it wasn't that she couldn't get the door open, cause she could. It was that she couldn't get her giant self into the car.

Lady, if you want to try to pick a fight, do it with someone who's not such a bitch. Cause I'm not taking your crap.

In response

2011-02-10T21:10:00.000-06:00

Well. Seems that yesterdays very sarcastic blog post elicited a flurry of responses. It seems that people would prefer that I keep all my feelings and emotions bottled up, just in case I might accidentally offend someone.

First of all, the part about the food was mostly sarcasm. You see, here in the south, the second someone gets sick or dies, casseroles suddenly appear. It's a common belief that casseroles can cure disease and mend a broken heart. Actually, it's just a response to people's desire to DO something. ANYTHING. And I get that. I see my 'do something' husband going nuts sometimes because he wants to fix me and he can't. So instead, he's gonna fix everything else. Or cook. Thus the plethora of food around my house. It's not that I don't appreciate every offer of food. I truly do. But when I say no thank you, please don't be offended that I don't want your cream of something soup casserole. It's just that some people in my house can't eat cream of anything. And a few picky ones just won't eat cream of anything, so I will still have to fix something for dinner.

I realize that people now read my blog, even though I started it for me and my family. It was a place for me to vent my feelings and send updates to my family. You know what? It still is. So if you read my blog and get offended, then that was not my intention. It is my intent to vent. So I will.

What I will also do is thank some people. Because apparently some people think I'm an ungrateful bitch. Which I might be, but if you aren't the person I'm being ungrateful to, then hush it.

To my friend who called to take me to lunch when she knew I was going stir crazy when I couldn't drive, THANK YOU. That was something that made my day. Just getting dressed and getting out of the house made me feel like a normal human being again.

To the mom of my son's teammate who picked him up at the absolute crack of dawn to get him to swim practice when I couldn't, THANK YOU. I do not want my children to be negatively affected by what's going on. And that's hard to do. You helped make my kid's day a little more normal.

To the friends who called just to see how I was doing, or to take the little kids to the park so I could rest, THANK YOU. It is wonderful to know that I have friends who care about me and my family. It is very hard being sick, but being sick when you don't have any family at all near you is even harder.

To my doctors who put up with my sarcastic, antagonistic self, THANK YOU. I know you are doing the best job to try to make me well again. And even though you told me I wouldn't know if I was calcium deficient because the symptoms were crankiness and irritability and that's just the way I usually am, I still love you. Because you made me feel comfortable talking to you. Because you made my scar blend in to my old lady wrinkles. And because you looked hot doing it.

And yes, I thank my husband, children and family, but I'm not going to do it here. Remember the shoes? Yep, I already thanked him.

Enough already

2011-02-10T09:18:00.000-06:00

I AM NOT DYING

Stop looking at me with pity, like I'm gonna kick off in a few days.

Stop avoiding me because you don't know what to say to me. Say the same things you used to say, because I'm still the same person you USED to talk to.

Stop trying to bring us food. Seriously, people. My husband cooks all the time anyway. If he ever gets sick, you can bring all the damn food you want. Besides, there are nine of us and that's A LOT of food to bring. Plus, there are food allergies and diabetes to deal with and it's just too complicated to try to explain to you.

Stop staring at the scar. I am not a scar.

Stop being amazed that I look as good as I do for having cancer. What am I supposed to look like? Is a bald head a pre-requisite for 'looking' like you have cancer? I'm not gonna shave my head so you think I look more like I should. If you think I look good (and I do), then just say "you look great!", not "you look great for having cancer".

Thank you for listening to me rant for a bit.

Cancer sucks

mommy, my tummy hurts

2011-02-09T10:57:00.000-06:00

Did you know that a cow can stand out in the rain for days and nothing will happen to it's fur, but you can remove the fur and water will now become it's mortal enemy?

It's true.

When I say water, I also assume that it means vomit and dog pee.

Little Miss Sunshine wasn't so sunny this morning. She woke up saying her tummy was hurting. Then she laid on the couch.

Right next to the cowhide rug.

Pay attention, that fact is important.

After a while, she sat up and said, "Mommy, I feel like I'm gonna...."

She never even got the word out, she just jumped up and puked right on the rug. I yelled for her to head to the bathroom and she left a trail of vomit in her wake.

sorry. Hope you weren't eating.

I made sure she was ok, then ran in the room to try and assess the damage.

Step one: Remove dogs who are trying to eat the puke.

Step two: Scrape off all the chunks

Step three: Stop crying and throwing up a little bit in your mouth due to the smell.

Step four: Use spray to clean the rest of the residue up.

The rest of the mess was on the hardwood floors. Not the ideal place, but infinitely more easily cleaned than cowhide. I pulled out my handy dandy floor steamer and went to work. I love my floor steamer more than I should. It is very reassuring to know that the super hot steam kills any germs that get left behind by the feet of nine people, three dogs and a cat.

That's a lot of germs.

I'm hoping the cowhide doesn't start to pucker where it got wet with cleaner. And Little Miss Sunshine? She is now running around the house like nothing ever happened.

Me? I'm traumatized and now going to take a shower in the hottest water possible.

retail therapy

2011-02-08T16:33:00.000-06:00

I love shopping. Just ask my husband. The only thing I love better than shopping? Buying something on sale.

I got these 30% off! You must ignore all the crap on the counter that I didn't bother to crop out and the crumbs on the floor that need to be swept up.

See? They are tractor seats. They totally fit in with the Texas Country thing we have going on in our house. Also, they form fit to your butt cheeks, so they are pretty comfy.

I have been considering getting a few bar stools, but I didn't want anything that is going to be in the way, or show over the top of the bar from the kitchen. why? I don't know, because I'm weird about crap like that. That's why.

Something else I treated myself to is these little chickadees.

These were not on sale, so I must absolutely love these to have paid full price.

See how they are marked? They are chicken measuring cups! Cuteness and function.

she's my favorite. Now I must go bake something.

Then sit at the bar to eat it.

The great snowstorm of 2011

2011-02-04T10:13:00.000-06:00

You saw it here! The great snowstorm of 2011 in Texas. The snowstorm that paralyzed cities for days. Schools were cancelled to the delight of children everywhere.

Yep, that's it.

We are pathetic.

The kids couldn't wait to get outside and play in the snow. The girls made snow angels while the boys threw snowballs at each other.

Well, the snow won't stick together really well, so they threw snow flurries at each other.

We took the laundry baskets to the little hill in the park and slid down.

We played at the park with the dog.

It was the coldest 15 minutes of our lives.